Leaving the public school system

I have decided to leave the public school where I have taught for 4 years to work at a charter school in the same city. When Huberman announced the 2,700 teacher cuts, my administration claimed to have their hands tied, and teachers performed their jobs with the lowest morale due to the uncertainty and lack of communication. My school became a toxic environment in terms of how teachers treated each other, while at the same time my students continued to impress me with their work. It took quite a bit of effort to protect them from the crap going on outside of the classroom, to focus my attention on their learning.

When school let out in June, I spent the next month agonizing over my next move. I wasn't sure if I would have a position, being one of the newer hires and one of the youngest teachers. Should I stay in the school where I had developed confidence in my instruction and had formed a connection with students and families? Should I stay in a school where I felt unappreciated, unsupported, and silenced?

Then, all my insecurities as a teacher came bubbling up to the surface. If I looked for a job, would anyone hire me? Am I good enough elsewhere or did I get too comfortable at a dysfunctional school?

I know people who call teachers like me a traitor or a sell-out for leaving the urban public school system. It is like giving up instead of continuing the struggle. Others at my school will say that I thought I was "too good" or wonder why I just couldn't be content with what I had. These sentiments are understandable, but broken is broken. I couldn't be happy because my work ultimately wasn't changing things at my school. A colleague said to me, "You need to be in a place where you can be and feel effective as a teacher."

A teacher has several different spaces in which to take action - the classroom, the school, the community, the field of education, and the state or national policy scene. I see these spaces as circles that grow ever larger from the center. My goal as a teacher has always been to be a true actor in the sense that what I do creates change within these circles, and I believe that the space in which I can act should expand over time.

The first couple of years, you act solely within the classroom. You ask yourself how you could have taught that lesson better, what that child needs, how you will assess student understanding...Then, you open your eyes a little wider and notice how the school is running. You think - Hey, this isn't working. I can change this, or how can we do that? You observe the city's education policies, and you form opinions and you make decisions on whether and how to act.

If you encounter resistance when you try to be active beyond your classroom, then the message is that your role is limited to what you can accomplish within those walls and that you are not welcome into any of the wider conversations about education. I'm not saying that teaching is not enough in itself or admirable as a career, but I think many of us have come to learn that advocacy for our students extends much, much further beyond what we teach. We need to change the definition or perception of teacher to encompass advocacy. To be an advocate, it is necessary to take action within the school, be challenged to continuously improve our instruction, and have a voice in policy matters.

It took me a while to get to this point of deciding to leave and start again elsewhere, but there isn't a doubt in my mind that this is the right move for me. There are feelings of guilt and of abandoning something that I've started, and then letting go of the students and the community to which I've grown so attached is difficult. But for the first time in a long time, I'm feeling hope.

It is not about what charters are doing right and what public schools are doing wrong. More and more, the distinction between types of schools and their effect on student achievement have become moot. It is about teachers being pushed to develop their craft and become part of a team of professionals that move the school and move education research and policy. I think I have found a new space to learn and act, and that is exciting.